


Safe place to land

by WatchforWitches



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Relationship, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22501561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: This was the strangest goodbye he's ever experienced, but if it's the first and last time Alec's lips touch his own he's going to savor itAka a suspended moment of will they or won't they
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	Safe place to land

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I am back to throw this random outpouring of malec content at you all. Sorry for the inconsistency in my posting, I'm in my last year of school and I'm making a short film as well as writing a huge thesis paper, animation is hard, who knew. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this soft exchange of dialogue, aka all I can write on basically no brain cells.

"Are you afraid?" Magnus whispers quietly in the small space that remains between their lips. He wonders if Alec realizes he was staring at his mouth the whole night.

"Afraid of what?" Alec asks, voice an octave lower than normal, a clear answer to Magnus' question. 

"This. Me. Yourself. Everything." 

Alec takes a deep staggering breath, sucking the air through his teeth. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, but his hands are still trembling at his sides. Magnus wants to reach out and take them, steady him, but he refuses to take the first leap into this unknown, if Alec wants him, he has to make the move. 

"I'm terrified," he responds softly, still shaking, "I've never wanted anything so badly in my whole life. You terrify me." 

"You can have anything you want," Magnus assures him then, though he knows this isn't what Alec meant, knows that Alec already knows this when it comes to Magnus. "It's okay." 

Alec shakes his head again, eyes squeezed closed so tight Magnus wonders if the muscles ache. "I'm a shadowhunter." Its all he says, its all he needs to. Magnus knows this, understands what it means to him and what it means to Alec, understands all the hidden intricacies in that loaded word. 

"I'm a warlock," Magnus shrugs, taking a half step away from Alec, giving him more space to breath. "I know you think being a shadowhunter is only one thing, one way, but it doesn't have to be. I know you have rules, and unspoken codes and guides. I know all the ways the Clave bleeds out hearts like yours. I know, I know. I promise it's okay." 

"It's not," Alec says simply, "it's not fair to you. Because if I did what I really wanted to right now it wouldn't be fair to you. I can't guarantee that it would change anything." 

"I'm not asking for a revolution," Magnus said, raising a hand to take Alec's but quickly withdrawing. "I'm not asking you for anything Alexander. None of this is unfair to me. If it is then thats a product of my heart, not yours. It's alright." 

Magnus wondered if he said that enough it would become true, if it would fix the hole in his bleeding heart. 

He looked up to see Alec and knew immediately it wouldn't. The shadowhunter looked as if he was in physical pain, eyebrows knit close together, lips a tight line, eyes glassy. He knew it wasn't okay, he wondered if it ever would be. 

"I'm sorry," Magnus spoke up then, "I'm sorry, I should," he started to turn, to walk away, to busy his hands with something that wasn't twisting them behind his back. 

Before he could so much as take two steps, he was being pulled back. First Alec had his arm, tucking his hand in the crook of Magnus' elbow, then he was turned back around and the shadowhunter was looking at him imploring. He was looking at him like he held all the answers to all the questions of the universe. "I can't keep doing this," Alec spoke, voice thick with unshed pain. 

"I know," Magnus heaved a sad sigh, thinking of all the ways this would unfold, that this was likely the last time Alec would ever be this close to him. He closed his eyes now, taking a grounding breath, trying to memorize the weight of Alec's fingers against his bicep. "I know you can't. It's oka-" 

Lips were pressed to his in the middle of his sentence. They were warm, but chaste with inexperience, feather light with hesitation. Before Alec could pull away Magnus was craning his neck out to kiss him properly, moving his hands to Alec's waist to pull him closer. This was the strangest goodbye he's ever experienced, but if it's the first and last time Alec's lips touch his own he's going to savor it. 

Alec is the first to pull away, breath coming in a quick little gasp for air. Magnus holds his own breath, eyes still closed, worried that if he opens them this will all have been a cruel dream of his own creation. 

"Magnus look at me," Alec practically begs. They haven't known eachother long but Magnus has developed an awful habit of giving Alec whatever he wants, so he opens his eyes and slowly meets his gaze. 

"Was that your first kiss?" Magnus whispers the first thing that comes to his head, wondering if in all the years of Alec's life no one has ever done with him what Magnus just had. 

"Was it that obvious?" Alec asks with a nervous humor in his tone.

"Not at all," Magnus shakes his head, "Just wondering if I had the joy of being the first one." 

Alec swallows then and nods, "You're the first," he confirms. 

"Well," Magnus replies, voice wavering. He has to be the one to voice what they are both cresting to, he knows, its the responsible thing to do, he just wishes it wasn't. "That was just about the nicest goodbye I've ever experienced." 

Alec's face twists from nervous joy to confusion in an instant. "What do you mean?" 

"You said it yourself," Magnus reminds him gently, "You can't do this anymore. It's okay, I understand." 

Alec leans down and kisses Magnus again, lips more sure and steady, but still hesitant. "You don't. I meant that I can't pretend anymore. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything. If you want me too, and you let me figure out what I'm going to do, I'm here. I know its selfish to ask you to wait for any amount of time after everything, but-" 

"It's not," Magnus squeezes Alec's arm gently, "it's not selfish. I've waited this long for you, I'm not going anywhere." 

Alec nods, closing his eyes and placing his forehead against Magnus'. "Okay." 

"Okay," Magnus agrees. 

The road ahead of them is no doubt as bumpy as the road behind them, but Magnus is willing to risk it. And he's not afraid.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments/Feedback are all welcome and greatly appreciated! <33


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